


The Conversation

by Sams_Sister (Sams7)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sams7/pseuds/Sams_Sister
Summary: Sam and Jack have "The" conversation.





	The Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Episodes: Chimera, Season 7 (slightly)
> 
> Thanks to Ted Sadler for inspiring me to write my own version of “What Just Happened There?” and for encouraging me to post it. Thanks to Mithwriter for being an unofficial Beta. Her suggestions have improved this immensely.
> 
> Originally written in 2003; I think this was my first fanfic.

~

Sam stopped just short of the open doorway to Colonel O’Neill’s office, not quite ready to be seen by its occupant. What had seemed like a good idea a few moments ago was suddenly giving her second thoughts. The question was, did she turn back or stay the course?

“Sir, do you have a minute?”

He looked up from his pile of paperwork to see his 2IC standing in the doorway, instantly recognizing the tense look on her face.

“Sure,” he answered, waving her in. She looked down with an embarrassed smile, then turned and shut the door behind her, making sure she heard the distinctive click of it closing. He noted it, and wondered what could be so important to ensure this much privacy. “This isn’t about that Ribbon Theory thing you’ve been working on, is it?”

“String Theory,” she automatically corrected, “and no, sir, it’s not. It’s...personal.” She looked down, took a breath, and began.

“I just thought I should tell you...I thought you deserved to know...” she stammered, not finding the words after all. Carter studied the deep brown eyes and bemused smile looking back at her and wished he’d throw her a lifeline for this conversation, but for once he wasn’t trying to guess her and just sat waiting. It was, she thought, a hell of a time to break from his routine. “Sir, I’ve started seeing someone...I just thought that you should know.”

Silence. His bemused smile faded, and for a long moment he stared at her blankly before recovering back into ‘commanding officer’ mode. 

“Good for you.”

The silence between them was almost deafening. _This was a huge mistake_ , she thought as she broke eye contact and looked away, suddenly wishing she’d stayed in the lab.

“So, was there anything else?” She gazed back at him, surprised at the drastic change in his eyes, which were now hard and focused. Carter recognized the dark look as a defensive one, but there was only one thing she could do about it.

“No, sir. I’ll let you get back to your reports.”

“You do that, Major.” He watched as she turned and pulled the door open, left it open, and walked quickly down the hall. For a moment it looked as if she would stop and turn around, but she continued. He watched her until she turned the corner. The moment she cleared it his eyes lost their hard edge and his whole body slumped against the back of the chair, not even realizing how tense he’d been. He let out a heavy sigh and put his head in his hands.

 _Damn_.

~

It was getting late when Jack tapped on Daniel’s open door, then walked in without waiting for an answer. Daniel looked up through his glasses, squinting a little as he often did when changing his focus from the books he buried himself in.

“I need to run something past you...” Jack started, turning to shut the door without waiting for a response.

“Uh, yeah, c’mon in,” Daniel added after the fact. Not that it mattered.

“Daniel, did you know that Sam is seeing someone?”

Daniel hesitated and then nodded slowly, “Um, yeah, I think he’s a cop – her brother introduced them.”

“She already told you, then.” He eyed a small, valuable artifact on a shelf nearby and picked it up, not really paying attention. “When?”

Daniel’s interests were suddenly divided between concern for his friend and the delicate artifact he was manhandling. “Uh, about 3 weeks ago, before the setup. Sam told me her brother wanted her to meet someone. She was a little unsure about whether to agree to it. Why?” He knew full well, but wanted to hear Jack’s response.

To Daniel’s relief, Jack lost interest in the artifact and replaced in on the shelf, his free hand now running through his hair. “Look, Daniel, you’re aware of how things are between Carter and me, right?”

“Well, not exactly – I mean, I know that you care about each other, but has it gone any further than that?”

“No,” Jack sighed, showing his exasperation, “we left it alone, kept it suppressed. As long as we work together that’s all we _can_ do.” 

Daniel glanced down at the open numerous texts on the desk, his eyes widening when an idea occurred to him. “Look, what is the meaning of life anyway?”

“What? Daniel, this is a hell of a time–”

“No, no, I mean it.” Seeing Jack’s annoyed look he added, “Just work with me here for a moment. Why are we here?” 

Jack was confused. “To defeat the Goa’uld. Make Earth safe from attack.”

“Okay, but why? What do we care in the end? We are going to die eventually anyway.”

“Daniel,” Jack countered, his voice showing his irritation. “I came in here to ask you for personal advice. You’re not helping.”

“Look, we get all caught up in our work – translating ancient texts...” Daniel waved his hand towards his desk cluttered with scrolls and notes, “planning battle strategies to defeat enemies,” meaningful look at Jack, “figuring out scientific theories...” the obvious reference to Sam.

“Yeah, so...”

“But at the end of the day, why do we do it? What is it all for? I mean, why did I start chasing the Goa’uld?”

Realization dawned on Jack. “Sha’re...” he answered, starting to see where Daniel was headed.

“Exactly. Jack, those two years I spent with Sha’re on Abydos were the happiest years of my life. I belonged to someone, was accepted, loved, comforted and gave it all back in return. I would do anything to get that back again. Don’t underestimate its importance.”

Jack nodded slowly. “Yeah, I see what you mean. I shouldn’t let her slip away...not for the damned Goa’uld!” 

“Well, something like that – I mean, we may not find a way to conquer them now – it could take another generation for us to figure out how to defeat them...the Tok’ra have been fighting them for hundreds of years – we’ve been at it for what, about ten?”

Jack eyed his friend with renewed appreciation. But then, why should he be surprised that Daniel could see things he couldn’t? He’d been doing it ever since they’d known each other. 

“Thanks.” 

“So...” Daniel started.

“So...what?”

“So, you going to talk to her?”

“I don’t know yet.” In reality Jack’s mind was filled with a dozen worst-case scenarios about that possible course of action. At that moment he would’ve preferred taking on a squad of angry Jaffa. “You think I should?”

“Yeah, I do. Go sort it out before it’s too late.” 

Jack picked up Daniel’s tone, and his worst case scenarios suddenly got more vivid. “Why? She tell you she’s serious about this guy? I thought she only just met him?”

“She did, but it just seems like an important time to do it – her telling you and all. She obviously wanted to see how you’d react, and was trying to give you fair warning if you had any feelings to deal with that you didn’t want to act on.”

“Right. Yeah, you’re right. Ok, I’ll, um, see you later.”

“Sure...good luck...” Daniel thought better of saying what else he had in mind.

~

Sam was muddling through a paper debating one of the many aspects of String Theory when the doorbell rang. She looked at the clock – 11:00 pm? Who would come over at this hour? It surely wasn’t Pete, they had just made a date for the next night and he had an early shift.

She went to the door and checked through the curtain. She released the dead bolt and opened the door.

“Colonel.” It was more of a question than a statement of recognition.

“Hi, Carter. Do you, uh, have a few minutes?” Jack suddenly felt a little shy about what he was about to say. 

“Sure, come on in.” Sam hesitated a moment, and then pulled the door open further to let him in. She nodded him toward the kitchen and shut the door.

Following him down the hall, she wondered what he was doing here. She indicated the couch beyond in the family room and stepped toward the fridge. “Do you want anything? I have water, some sodas...beer?”

“A beer would be nice, thanks.” Jack fell into his normal casual pattern.

Sam took one out and started rooting around for the bottle opener.

“Here.” He came over and reached for the bottle. Their hands touched briefly in the exchange. She nodded, mouthed “right” as he opened the bottle with his hands. He took a sip, sighed, murmured “good” and turned toward the kitchen table where a laptop sat open and a bottle of water sat unopened.

“Looks like I got you in the middle of something.” 

Sam chuckled slightly. “I’m always in the middle of something...that’s my problem.” She picked up the water bottle and opened it, sitting it down without drinking. She glanced at the computer screen, tapped a few keys, and closed it. She looked around to the couch, thought the better of it and sat down at the table. She waved her hand toward the chair across from her.

“So...” she began.

“So,” he answered back, not really sure where to begin. He eyed a chair, and pulled it out to sit down as his mind tried to shove his worst-case scenarios through an open escape hatch without parachutes. Taking another draft of his beer, he said “Look, I wanted to apologize for being a jerk to you earlier.”

She looked at him sharply, then smiled. “I didn’t notice anything different than usual.”

“Very funny.” He took another swig of beer. “Look, ever since you and I have...you know...it’s always been...”

“Complicated?” When he didn’t answer she nodded and gave a little wry smile, “yeah, it’s always so...” she shook her head a bit, then suddenly grew angry. “Why does it have to be so damn hard to try and find someone to share my life with? All I want is someone to come home to, to talk to, eat dinner with...”

“...Someone to hold, sit by the fire with...yeah, it’s nice.” Jack smiled at the thought. _Once upon a time..._

“I wouldn’t know much about that...”

That got his attention. “C’mon...never?” He looked at her incredulously.

Sam looked a little embarrassed. “The longest relationship I’ve had was about 3 or 4 months. It was always the same – ‘you don’t spend enough time with me,’ ‘can’t you forget about work for a while?’, ‘what the hell are you so preoccupied about?’ It just never worked out.”

“Jerks...didn’t appreciate that you were saving the world, did they?”

She gave him an ironic smile, “Right. But no, they were nice enough guys – most of them. They just didn’t understand. Of course, I couldn’t tell them anything, so things always just went downhill after that.” She stopped suddenly, hesitant. “Jack...”

He started at his name. She never called him that. “Yeah?”

“Didn’t...Sara...ever wonder or ask...?”

He looked up from his beer, a bit surprised. But he nodded and answered “Yeah, sometimes, but she was pretty old-fashioned. She liked being a homemaker, keeping things stable stateside when I was overseas. It made it nice to come home to. And then when Charlie was born, well, she had that to keep her occupied.”

Sam nodded. “Motherhood. That’s something I have pretty much given up on. I used to think I’d have that, too. But now I don’t know. Maybe it’s better this way. I can never tear myself away from work. I’d make a lousy mom.”

He cut her off. “Oh stop it, will ya? You’d be a great mom. You’re great with Cassie, you obviously have the maternal instinct. I’d be proud if you were the mother of my kids.” He stopped abruptly, realizing how that sounded. He hadn’t meant to say that at this point.

Sam was looking intently at him. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

Silence. Awkward silence. 

Finally, Jack took the first step. What the hell, it’s what he came for. “Sam, I wasn’t just speaking hypothetically...I mean, I came over here because I was upset at your news earlier. I guess I just thought that as long as neither of us was seeing anyone, things could just go along as always.”

She nodded and sighed, “Right, and with the war, personal things haven’t been a big priority...” 

“Yeah. But there was something about your voice when you told me – like you had resolved to move on. And I couldn’t just let that go...I just didn’t want to bury my feelings again and watch you move on with someone else.”

She whispered, “All I want is a little peace to come home to...why is that so wrong?” Her eyes were pleading.

Jack’s eyes squinted in his own curious way, “It’s not wrong, and if you’ve found someone who can give you that, then...that’s great...I wish you well. Sam, I would never begrudge you that.” He looked a little helpless for a moment, then swallowed another gulp of beer. “All I really want is... for you to be happy.” There, he’d gone and said it, and probably blown the last shot he’d had with her. _Damn, I should have left well enough alone. And why can’t I just tell her how I really feel? What the hell is the matter with me?_

Sam stared at the man with the dejected look on his face nursing a beer in her kitchen with a mixture of exasperation and incredulity. Honestly, the man sitting at her kitchen table could be as dense as anything she could dig up on some distant planet. “ _If_ I’ve found someone who can give me that? _IF_?” 

He was confused. Was she annoyed with him? He struggled to think of a reply. Her actions next spared him.

Sam reached across the table and took his hand in both of hers. He stared at it, not believing even as his nerve endings told him otherwise, his mind reeling at the possibility.

“Jack.” There was no anger, no bitterness. Just a silent question he heard loud and clear. He felt a pang – damn, she beat him to the punch – once again she was the brave one, putting herself out there as usual. But he needed to hear the words.

“It’s you.” His gaze locked into hers, and she stayed with him, fearless. 

Breathe, he thought. Breathe or you’ll pass out. “I guess I never could quite believe it...”

She gave that familiar little roll of her head which told him he should never have doubted it. And yet she seemed unsure herself. 

His eyes softened, “Sam, it’s always been you, I thought you knew that. Why else did you come to tell me about... _'him_ ’?” 

Her relief was visible. She squeezed his hand. And then released it. “But nothing has changed. As long as there are regs and we’re SG1, things will just go on like before.…” She looked despairingly across the table at him.

Jack was smiling – why was he smiling?

“Jack?” She looked at him questioningly.

“Screw regs.” He got up, came around the table and drew her out of her chair, raising her to her feet. She looked at him wonderingly. He couldn’t have gotten drunk on one beer. He reached one hand up to caress her cheek. “SG1 can manage without me, but I can’t manage without you.” 

Her eyes filled as he pulled her into an embrace. Then she heard the words she’d been waiting a lifetime to hear.

“I want to be the one you come home to.”

Relief, overwhelming relief, flooded over her. And something else...peace.

~

 _fin_.

~

_“What is life without love?”_


End file.
